You Can Call Me Oscar the Grouch...Just for Today

Today the two-year-olds may have been more terrible than I noticed. I was in a complete fog all day. I had to be at work at 6am. For those of you that know me well, you know that I never see that time of day on purpose. Some people are not built for early mornings and I am proud to be one of those people. I reach REM cycle around 4 or 5am and I love it. I feel so good when I wake up around 8 or 9am. Those are my perfect mornings...unfortunately those only occur on the weekends. During the week, I am an insomniac. Maybe that's why I don't always get along with the children...I should work nights. I always thought high school should offer a later schedule or at least put some of the hard classes in the afternoon...that's when I'm most cognitively alert! I could've been valedictorian in the afternoon! Ha. So today 6am was pitch black and rainy. It rained all day which usually improves my mood since I love rain....today it only made me sleepier. The rain also meant I was trapped inside with the terrible 2's. I even wore my pajamas to work today disguised as dark gray yoga pants. I don't do yoga that much....sleep is the only exercise these pants ever see. I also drank twice as much Dr. Pepper as usual and considered picking up the coffee habit. Caffeine had no effect on me today...neither did the ice packs I held under my eyes for a bit. During my "lunch" break at 9am.....I snuck into an empty classroom and took a "power" nap. Why do they call those power naps? Are they supposed to make you feel like a super hero? Because, if anything, it made me feel less powerful. My break was 30 minutes long and I spent 25 minutes asleep...except for the 30 seconds when I woke up in total fear that I'd fallen asleep surrounded by two-year-olds. Talk about nightmares. So today I am cranky and sleepy....but I know I won't really fall asleep until much later tonight because my brain will not shut off. On other news....I took a drug test today for a possible new job. Nothing improves a dreary mood like peeing in a cup while leaving your valuables with a nurse like some common criminal.

I Spent the Day with Tiny Vicious Vampires

I work at a daycare. Sooo not glamorous. In fact, it is the complete opposite of glamorous, but it puts food on the table. My official title is that of "floater" (which means I "float" around and give teachers breaks). It would be spectacular if I really could float...walking is overrated. I spend roughly an hour in each classroom (which is all any sane human could probably handle considering the children these classrooms contain). Today I walked into work to find a "deathly ill" director who informed me that there was an epidemic. The 2's teacher called in and those who came to work were spending the day running to the bathroom and back...if you catch my drift. At this point, the germophobe in me is screaming, "Why didn't I bring a surgical mask?? I don't want this!! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Then the director (who I have backed a safe 7 feet away from) says, "I need you to be the 2's teacher today." Inward groan. There is a reason some genius coined the phrase "terrible twos." This particular group of two-year-olds scares me to death. I look at my daily hour spent with them as excellent birth control. They make me never want kids because they will be 2 at some point. I walk the green mile and when I get there, I immediately take them outside because they can do less damage out there. After 15 minutes outside, one of them needs to pee. Of course. We get inside. They start biting each other. Not just biting. These little piranhas are out for blood. Over a toy. A stupid piece of plastic. Back to the playground, vampires. Long story short, 2-year-olds bite a lot, scream a lot, climb on furniture a lot, fight over toys a lot, and cry a lot. My peace finally came at naptime...when I got all the little monsters asleep. They're kinda cute when they're sleeping and not trying to kill each other. And their teacher will not be back tomorrow so I get to spend another joyful day with mini bloodsuckers. Can I just fast-forward to the weekend, now?

Name of the Game

I should explain the name of this blog. It's actually a quote. From my grandmother. My "Meme." I named her that. I was quite the creative toddler. Meme likes to call my mom frequently and she usually (by usually I mean almost always) begins the conversation with "well I ain't got no newsy nothins....just wanted to see how you were doin." She usually repeats it a couple times during conversations too. When I was trying to come up with a name for my blog, nothing else seemed to fit except that phrase (which kept running through my head and made me miss my Meme). See...she's down in Arkansas with the rest of my family. My husband (Chris...he'll probably pop up in this blog a lot.) and I have transplanted ourselves to Kansas City...and this is NOT Kansas...it's in Missouri too, people! Big city. Two states. I miss my family...well except Bobby. My cousin. He lives here too. But not in my apartment. That would just be weird. I thought this blog would be a great way to let out my ramblings and update those who love me and live so far down south. So welcome to my blog. It's going to be a bumpy ride because I have a short attention span so things may get sporadic and (if you haven't noticed) I interrupt myself and my own thoughts quite a bit. And guess what? I ain't got no newsy nothins for you right now! And I won't always sound this southern. I promise. People say my accent is almost gone. Until I impersonate my Meme!!